How to Handle a Narcissist Boss

• Author: Mary Singleton
• Posted: 2023-12-04

One of the worst types of boss that you could ever work for is the narcissist. Invariably, no matter how much effort you put in at work, things will always be about them. It is frustrating and wear down even the thickest-skinned employees. There are some ways to cope with this and make your job tolerable. Here are five ways to handle a narcissist boss at work and not lose your sanity.

Stroke Their Ego

While it may feel disingenuous to give someone false praise designed solely to feed their oversized ego, this is how you need to handle a narcissist. As much as you do not want to play their game and go along with the madness, they need to be praised and fawned over to feel their best. Ultimately, that may help them go easy on you and can earn you a spot on their good side.

Do not feel any hesitation to suck up to the boss. As dirty as you may feel, this is how you get ahead with a narcissist. Try to resist the urge to stand on principle and not play along. Others will wise up to the game, and they may get ahead in the workplace, often at your expense.

Make Them Look Good

There is nothing that a narcissist enjoys more than being able to puff out their chest and preen. The person whom they crave recognition from is their own boss. Do your best to make your boss look good in front of their boss. They may find a way to reward you for that if they can see what someone else has done. It may hurt to let your boss take credit for your work to their boss. However, your most important relationship is with your own supervisor. It is less important to look good in front of their boss. You should also try to put in a good word for them to anyone who will listen. Ultimately, this will get back to your boss, and it will reflect well on you.

Be Careful About Challenging Them

About the worst thing that you can do when dealing with a narcissist is to challenge them directly. Their egos cannot take it when they feel that a subordinate is calling them out for anything because they inherently believe that they are better than the people who work for them. The narcissist does not feel like they are on even ground with anyone, especially those whom they supervise. If you ever want to get anything past your narcissistic boss, make sure that you demonstrate how your idea can help them in their career. However, you must be very careful because the narcissist can seek revenge on you without warning.

Keep Your Own Self-Esteem High

Working for a narcissist can be draining for your self-esteem because it is never about you. Employers are only human and sometimes want their own time in the limelight. When your boss is a narcissist, this is simply never going to happen. As a result, you are going to have to get used to the fact that you are not going to get gratification from recognition at work. You will need to find other ways to tend to your own self-esteem. Try not to put yourself in a situation where your emotions sink or swim based on your interactions with your boss because it will invariably lead you to an unpleasant place. Your personal worth cannot depend on your job, and you need to find other outlets besides work to derive satisfaction.

Always Have an Exit Plan

You never quite know when you will decide that you have absolutely had enough of working for a narcissist. As much as you try to deal with them and their self-obsessed personality, there may come a time when you cannot take it anymore. As a result, you always need to have an exit plan in the back of your mind. While it may take some time to find a job, you need to set a limit on how much you can endure. Knowing that you have an exit plan can help you preserve your own strategy and could take some pressure of you at work. Most important, when your boss is a narcissist, you should know that the problem is theirs and not yours. Their misconduct is no reflection on you and the type of person that you are.